How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
