Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
