well most of my day revolves around power hour
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
