I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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