just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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