Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think I am morally bankrupt
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
