That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
