Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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