you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
