i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
please come you make the beer taste better
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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