I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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