Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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