ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
