you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
