At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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