he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
