Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
