I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
