i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
