she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
