Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
