period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
