Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
