This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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