Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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