I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's rum buckets o'clock
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
