Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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