So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
17 year olds will be the death of me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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