better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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