Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
