week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
