How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
