I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
