did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
