I heard we made out
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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