hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
