wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
