every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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