you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
