You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
