I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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