dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no you cant smoke seaweed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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