so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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