Can Purell be used as lube?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
