youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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