Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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