No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
