it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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