Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You took a bar mat shot.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
