I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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