Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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