I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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