Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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