Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
