that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
